Christmas Crazies

(minus one)

Joining Up Again

So, on Tuesday (as I posted) I decided to re-join my old gym. I had cancelled my membership a little over two years ago for two reasons: one, I was having trouble finding the time to go, with a busy toddler at my side and a husband working shifts; and two, I was attempting to save money. Blah blah blah. It was a terrible decision, but also the right one at the time.

I am not currently the heaviest I have ever been, but I am starting to creep back up there. I am still not ready to share my weight, because I am so embarrassed about it. My binge eating has become a monster unto itself. So I thought about it, and remembered just how much healthier I tend to eat, and how less often I binge, when I am exercising regularly. And our schedules allow me to have the time to do. So I took the plunge.

I am so glad that I did! I have only gone to the gym once (today), but I already feel more confident! This is why I decided to join now - during the crazy holiday season - instead of waiting until the new year. I needed that confidence boost.

Wish me luck!

Guess What I Did?

After a two year hiatus...I joined the gym again tonight!

Good for me?

Weight Weight Weight

Just a quick little update here.

I struggled a lot this month to keep my eating in check. My six week challenge didn't quite go as expected. I haven't lost much at all during the past few weeks...but thankfully I haven't gained anything! I have also stuck with my Couch 2 5k program, so I am definitely feeling stronger!

My 10 year wedding anniversary was today (yay!). Mine and my Mom's birthday is tomorrow, as well as Canada Day, so there will be a lot to celebrate!!! After that though...I am really going to try to get my focus back! There is still a lot I want to accomplish...

Size Updates

So, I went out last weekend with my Mom and sister for an early birthday celebration and shopping spree. My birthday isn’t until July 1, but we wanted to hit up the mall before the summer stuff got too picked over. We stayed overnight, slept in, and ate lots of glorious calorie-ridden food. It was wonderful, but…I don’t think I am going to weigh myself until next week when the bloat goes away more!



While shopping, I started to notice the changes in my body, so I thought I’d give a bit of an update about that. I do not yet feel comfortable stating my weight, but I am ok with opening up about sizes.

When I started out in January, I was attempting (sometimes unsuccessfully) to cram myself into size 18s. I was in complete denial about the fact that I had reached a point where I was a size 20, and I think I only allowed myself to buy one or two items of clothing in that size. I remember buying a pair of size 18 jeans that were so tight I couldn’t really even wear them – but I still bought them, telling myself that denim stretches (it didn’t – not enough at least!) I was busting out of my size XL shirts, and depending on the style, sometimes needed to shop for those at plus size stores. That was a hard pill to swallow. I accepted that, being bottom heavy, plus-sized pants were sometimes the way to go, but when I needed dresses and tops in plus sizes, I realized just how out of control my eating and lack of exercise had become.

Please do not think that I am putting down anyone who wears plus-sized clothing. There are many beautiful, gorgeous plus-sized people out there, and they shouldn’t feel shame. You CAN be plus-sized and healthy and confident. But I was NOT healthy. I was that size strictly because of really terrible habits, and was basically abusing my body. It was not good for me.

Now, with 20+ pounds gone, I have noticed the progress. I am now buying size 16-18 bottoms, and size large-xlarge shirts (depending on the store of course). It was a great feeling when I would put something on in the size I thought I’d need, only to realize I needed a size smaller. That hasn’t happened in a very long time!

I even spent a pretty penny getting a fabulous, high-waisted two-piece bathing suit from Torrid. I felt like a million bucks in it, so it was worth the cost!



I also bought some cheesey sunglasses from there as well. They are silly but awesome at the same time. (Excuse the crummy quality of the photo...it's time for a new phone!)



Oh, and the morning before I left, I managed to run a mile in 11 minutes and 20 seconds. This may seem slow to some of you, but I started this season at about a 13 minutes mile!!! I have a long way to go before I am back where I was, but I will get there! I just need to find the right Couch to 5k program to follow. I think that’s how I’ll start.

Two Weeks In

So first thing's first: I had a pretty good week this week, despite feeling a bit under the weather and having to skip a couple of my workouts. I am really trying to evenly mix cardio and strength training, but that just didn't happen this week. I did, however, manage to eat pretty well, rather than using illness as an excuse to not care. And I lost almost 2lbs. Happy with that!

I mentioned last week that I had started a six-week plan, but I didn't really give any details. Part of that is because I am not following any sort of formal program. I just kind of made up my own goals in my own head, which include:

- Exercising at least 4 days per week, mixing strength training with cardio
- Increasing my running speed
- Eating more vegetables
- Eating more lean meats
- Watching my calorie intake a little more closely
- Consuming fewer carbs (since I am a carboholic!)

My hope is to lose about 10lbs in these six weeks. But I know I can't control how quickly the weight comes off - I can only control how I go about it. So I am really trying to put my focus on my own actions, and just accept whatever happens on the scale.

I also realized that I really need to start following a Couch to 5k program again, because I am getting a bit lazy/distracted with my running. (You can read my original running story here and here. I feel like I am more successful when I have a plan. Right now I can only run about a mile before I need to stop to walk, and it's a pretty slow mile. So I am looking forward to having more success with that, especially now that the weather is being more cooperative!

Maybe someday soon I will feel confident smiling and not feeling like a chipmunk!

Party Post

People used to enjoy (or at least, it seemed that way!) seeing my posts recapping my kids' birthday parties. While I don't go completely "over the top", I do try to make them fun, and add some homemade things into the mix. I missed recapping my daughter's party last year, as well as my son's this year. As I just finished up ANOTHER party for my daughter on the 20th...I figured it was a good time to catch you all up!

Last year, when my daughter turned seven, she asked for a "Superhero Barbie Party." Done!



Of course I had to label the bathroom to match:










Capes and masks acted as favours...and also made for great props when posing in the life-sized Barbie box I made!







Among the games was "Punch a Cup" - you know, to practice their superhero moves, AND get little gifts!



My sister's friend made the cake and it looked amazing!



This year's parties were scaled back. I hosted my son's at a local gymnastics place, and my daughter's at the bowling lanes. All of the kids had a blast, and I did try to incorporate the themes they requested (Emojis for my son, and Trolls for my daughter). I have to say...it was a LOT less work, and a LOT less clean up. But I kind of missed having the chaos in my home!

I made this cake and thought it turned out pretty well! Very easy - and tasted amazing!



I always have a fun time coming up with the perfect favours to give out...



I am pretty sure that this foam pit was every kids' favourite thing!



I did do a tiny bit more for the Troll party - I swear girls are easier to plan for!



Okay I am running out of steam!!! Hope you enjoyed the photos!

Well, That Was Annoying...

Friday morning is my weigh-in day. I chose that day on purpose, knowing that if I go a little overboard during the weekend (it happens!) I still have time to get the water weight off. This past Friday, I was really hoping to make it to the "20lbs lost" milestone. But when I stepped on the scale...19.5 pounds. So close! But not quite there. Annoying, right? I swear scales do that o purpose.

Oh well. I got over it. Plus today it say that I hit the 20lb mark, so even though it's not my "official" day and doesn't fully count...I basically consider myself there.

In other news, I tried on some old summer clothes. Clothes from last year are getting loose! And clothes from the year before are starting to fit again! I am so excited!

I also tried on this pair of shorts. It didn't go well:



(And don't worry...that's just tummy you're looking at there. Nothing X-rated!!!

So, that didn't exactly help to build my confidence, BUT - I figure those shorts will be a great way to check my progress! I just started a six-week plan a few days ago, which will take me to my birthday. Hopefully those shorts will at LEAST button by then. Plus a couple of weeks ago I couldn't even get them over my butt, so...proof of progress already!

I am feeling great and looking forward to continuing on!

How I Lost 18lbs by Watching TV

In the past, when I would begin a weight-loss regime, I would go all out. ALLLLLLLL out. I would set an eating plan, and stick to it pretty perfectly. I would excerise 6 times a week at the start, drink all the water in the world, and spend each evening mapping out my next day's plan.

It was exhausting. And it nearly drove me insane.

This time around, when the New Year hit, I pledged to not do that. I didn't want to be obsessive about my weight loss. Because while WHAT I was doing and what I was eating was healthy enough, it wasn't MENTALLY healthy. Which is probably why I was having such trouble getting back at it. I didn't want me life to revolve around fitness and food again.

I am pretty happy to report that I have kept my own promise. And while it means that my weight loss has been slower (18lbs down in about four months - nothing to sneeze at, but not exactly speedy), I feel more confident about being able to keep it off in the long run. Because even when I had those "setback" weeks, I managed to maintain my weight - not gain. I really feel like I've learned from fast mistakes.

So how does TV factor into this? It's so cheesy. But it's true, so I have to say it.

I started watching "My 600lb Life."

Please understand - I starting watching because I am genuinely rooting for these people. A lot of them have such traumatic pasts, it's no wonder they turned to food to cope! And I do NOT judge them, one bit, for how big they became. I only wish them success.

But, watching the show made me realize something: you don't just wake up one day grossly overweight. These people gained weight over time, and very likely, the weight gain seemed to sneak up on them. They had no clue how big they were getting...until it was too late. And that's a scary thought. I am NOT comparing myself to the people on that show. They have far bigger hills to climb, and far more struggles. That isn't what I am saying. But I think I started to reflect more on my own bad habits after I started watching - and my own excuses. So I don't know...I feel like that reflection has been helping me. So I figure I might as well give credit where it's due. To television! Who would have thought?

So yeah...there is my update. 18lbs down, and mentally sounds (at least as it pertains to weight loss!). I am working my way into running again, and looking forward to doing even more! As I am not yet ready to share full-body shots...I shall end with a cheesy selfie!

Update Coming

Have I really not updated this blog since FEBRUARY?

I'll work on that, I promise. Update coming soon...

Down, Dooby-Doo, Down, Down

Last Friday marked exactly one month since I re-started my healthy way of life. I forgot to write an update then. My bad, but better late than never. So here I am!

My goal was to lose 10lbs in the month of January. 10lbs is a lot of lose in a month, and I knew it might be very tough to do. But I am happy to report that I was successful!



Actually, I surpassed my goal. I ended up losing closer to 11 pounds. Yowza!

Unfortunately, I ate out just a FEW too many times this week and had some trouble staying on track, so this week I just maintained my weight loss. Hey, I'll TAKE it!

I also got my hair coloured last week. Bye bye, bad ombre. I am happy to be back to my red roots!



I am feeling a lot better lately, both physically and from a self-confidence standpoint. However, I am still self conscious about certain things. Like smiling. I feel like I look like a chipmunk when I smile. I smile a lot, but I hate to see photos of it. I can't wait until that stops being the case.

Happy Friday!

Down 2!

Wahoo! I lost another 2lbs this week! Actually, it was more like two and a half! I was so surprised...I knew that I had done well, but I hadn't restricted myself nearly as much as I have in the past. I just exercised portion control and got myself moving more, but didn't deprive myself. Basically I...

- Ate more salads and vegetables
- Mostly cut out fast food and pop
- Stopped drinking my calories
- Watched the amount I was eating and listened to my body (ie I stopped eating when I felt satisfied - I didn't wait until I was stuffed)
- I worked out 3 times, plus walked twice on my lunch breaks

Easy right? Actually, yes!

I really think I can keep this going. I am feeling so much better about myself - it is hard to want to go back! This really feels like just living a normal lifestyle.

Also, I started using Instagram...just a little bit as I figure out how to best use it...but if you want to follow me, check me out at . I will likely use it more going forward.

5 Lbs

So...I lost 3 pounds this week. Yippee!!!

What that means is that since the start of the year, I have lost 5lbs. Well, okay, I have lost 4.8 but that's close enough, right?

At first I though, "Ah, five pounds...a million more to go!" But then I actually went downstairs and picked up one of my 5lb hand weights. It looks something like this:



And you know what? Five pounds is a lot. Five pounds is great. Hey, it's a heck of a lot better than gaining, right?

It is nice to know that I am off to a good start. I just hope I can continue this momentum!

Long Hair, Don't Care

New Year

I am not really one for making New Years resolutions. While I actually think that they can be a great idea, I am used to breaking them within a few days. So I don't really bother anymore. A few times in the past I have made a list, reasoning that if I even accomplished 2 out of 10, I could count that as a win. But, no such luck.

Usually, however, I ring in the new year with a new MINDSET. That fresh feeling, similar to before starting a new year of school, where life ahead just feels like it is full of endless possibilities. Unfortunately, that zest didn't hit me this time around.

The one consolation is that I also haven't yet hit the post-holiday depression that usually weakens me quickly at the start of January. Last year, I was in such a state that it was nearly impossible for me to plan my son's birthday celebration (his birthday is February 2nd). Currently, I am using this upcoming event to try to inject some fun and happiness into my days.

I am doing an emoji theme for him. Look how cute these goody bags are - and so simple!



I am also looking forward to get back into a regular exercise routine, and to focus on MINDFUL eating. I am too embarrassed right now to share my weight or any before and after photos, although I do have them. Maybe in time once I have made more progress, I will.

That's all for in. I will check in again soon.